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Harold had never wanted a woman so much in his life, upon overhearing the
22-year-old beauty remark that he was too old and out of shape for her. The
determined septuagenarian immediately embarked upon a rigorous self-improvement
program. He had his face lifted, bought a toupee, ran five miles every day,
lifted weights and adopted a strict vegetarian diet. Within months, the
rejuvenated man won the young woman's heart, and she agreed to marry him.
    On the way out of the chapel, however, Harold was fatally struck
by lightning. Furious, he confronted Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "How
could you do this to me after all the pain I went through?"
    "To be honest, Harold," Saint Peter sheepishly replied, "I didn't
recognize you."