Welcome!

Now that you've read Fortune's diet truths, you'll be prepared the next
time some housewife or boutique-owner-turned-diet-expert appears on TV
to plug her latest book. And, if you still feel a twinge of guilt for
eating coffee cake while listening to her exhortations, ask yourself
the following questions:

    (1) Do I dare trust a person who actually considers alfalfa sprouts a
     food?
    (2) Was the author's sole motive in writing this book to get rich
     exploiting the forlorn hopes of chubby people like me?
    (3) Would a longer life be worthwhile if it had to be lived as
     prescribed ... without French-fried onion rings, pizza with
     double cheese, or the occasional Mai-Tai? (Remember, living
     right doesn't really make you live longer, it just *seems* like
     longer.)

That, and another piece of coffee cake, should do the trick.