Fortunes

He only knew his iron spine held up the sky -- he didn't realize his brain
had fallen to the ground.
-- The Book of Serenity

The Fortune.Ninja is...

An all-knowing, all-seeing oracular deity that will deign to tell you what the future holds.
A total fraud based on a cryptographically insecure random number generator
A fun side project to experiment with different messaging APIs.
An API for getting fortunes on your website or in your app!
Free! With full source code available!
Hopefully safe for work, but not edited by me.

There are lots of sources you can try:

Welcome!