Fortunes

The rule on staying alive as a forecaster is to give 'em a number or
give 'em a date, but never give 'em both at once.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn

The Fortune.Ninja is...

An all-knowing, all-seeing oracular deity that will deign to tell you what the future holds.
A total fraud based on a cryptographically insecure random number generator
A fun side project to experiment with different messaging APIs.
An API for getting fortunes on your website or in your app!
Free! With full source code available!
Hopefully safe for work, but not edited by me.

There are lots of sources you can try:

Welcome!